House Hunters #1

So………………….
Here we go into unexplored territory, to places never visited by civilized man, to a place far, far away-HGTV
The show is House Hunters. People look at 3 houses and decide which one to buy. It is always the one with the stainless steel refrigerator, even if the house is under water. It doesn’t matter. Termites, motorcycle gang next door, rats running around and only $ 875,000. I’ll buy it if it has a stainless steel refrigerator.
This is show blog number one so let’s see how it goes.

Eugene and Lynn have been looking for a year-looked at 100 homes near Boston. Now they are on TV and have to make a decision.
Vomit
Here we go
They live in Quincy, want to move to Wakefield. Hate the condo-want a fence (wonder why).
Tons of houses, 2/3 of them are “crap”. Positive people-ugh. Just sold the condo and have to move no matter how miserable they are. They are looking up to $ 450,000-must be drug dealers.
She is a fundraiser, he is a deadbeat. They want stainless steel-it is obvious. Eugene likes square rooms, she likes round. He is a history teacher-poor kids. The realtor is Dan-a masochist. He smells blood-they need to move.
Looking at a 1900 house-nice Victorian. Lots of stairs, he is about 300 lbs. Nice floors and windows. Uh,oh. In the kitchen and he said “no stainless steel?” It is over. On to the next. Just wasting time on this one. Bathroom too small-he is way too big for the toilet-and with no window she is a goner. Backyard is “cute.” That is a no go.

Commercials: Edward Jones, HGTV, scrubbing bubbles, Pillsbury, Nissan, Crest, HGTV

OK, here goes #2
Shot of them in house #2-dual muffin tops
Off to Melrose-close to train, green
Medallion light fixture, 1890, historical, red dining room, STAINLESS STEEL!! But the dishwasher is white-that would cost 500 bucks on a 435,000 house but could be a deal breaker
Good views and a hot tub
Eugene in a hot tub-mercy
Up the stairs-lots of cute things, office, small rooms
No master bath but 2/3 stainless
A possibility

Commercials; HGTV, Quilted Northern Ultra Flush, another toilet paper adv, Pepperage farm cookies (perfect after the toilet paper ad), Advil ( I have a headache from doing this), Chevy (get me out of town), Broadway, Raymour and Flanagan, another Broadway

OK #3
North Andover-full acre, built in 1734
Really nice house-drive to the train-colonial
Wood beams, really nice-she hates it-I love it-like Red Hook
All she can say is “termites and bugs”
All stainless but no granite-that is it-no chance
He loves the house-she hates the charm
She keeps saying “hate, hate, hate”.
Beautiful yard-marshy-mosquitoes
She is adamant-Hate. He loves it.
Fist fight. I put 5 bucks on Lynn-she has big arms.
It is out-she hates it -it has to be number 2.

Commercial: Mirena, Audi, Hidden Valley ranch, Hefty (Eugene)

Back-get ready for the decision-oh, man, am I excited

It has to be #2-stainless-who cares about the house
3 is the best but they are morons
So………………..
Da da da da-it is # 1-OMG not the stainless-WRONG AGAIN-WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
Oh, wait the kitchen is black appliances-that is the key
ALAN has black appliances-it must be the new trend!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He tortured them and forced them to #1. That is what the CIA told him to do. Ruthless.
They are remodeling the entire upstairs-not in their budget but they always do that to throw us off.
I am disgusted-#3 was better
I am traumatized. Time for a snack.
Back next week.